BRIDGET's profileSingle and FabulousPhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
January 11 StuckI got a call this afternoon from Philip's mother which kind of put me between a rock and a hard place. She said she thought I should know that his grandmother fell down the other day and broke her hip. She was in the hospital and is now in a nursing home for rehab. I went through this same exact thing last year with my grandmother (well, she fell down in October of 2006 and died in April of 2007), so I know what it's like to deal with all of that.
I've spent quite a bit of time with his grandmother so I do have a fondness in my heart for her (and for his whole family, really), so my first instinct was to call him when I got off the phone with his mother...but then I thought better of it. I don't know what he's doing or if either he or his girlfriend are working (last I knew neither of them were, but that may have changed). Odds are that they were together and I sincerely don't want to cause problems between them (which is HUGE progress on my part!). I was so stuck. I felt like I needed to reach out to him, being that we have a huge history and I went through the same thing a year ago, but it was just a weird thing. What is the protocol in this type of situation?
In the end, I decided to email him instead. It may be several days before he actually gets my message, but I figured he should know that I know and that am sorry to hear about it. I know that he has a new girlfriend, so I guess I need to just step aside, but he was there for me when my grandmother had her accident (I realize he was my boyfriend then, so it was different). At any rate, it sucks all around. I'd like to go visit her but I don't want to run into Philip, or worse, Philip AND the girlfriend...so I may arrange something with his mother. She should know if they will be around or not.
This being-friends-after-a-break-up thing is complicated. Especially when you were so close to their family...the drama continues. January 01 Happy 2008 Suckas!When I say "suckas" I mean that in the nicest possible way of course!
Wow...another year has come and gone. It always seems to make me think back on my past. How far I've come...and how far I have to go.
I guess the most "major" event of 2007 was the end of my relationship with Philip. Last year at this time he and I were still together...but truth be told, not very happy. We broke up in February...and I'm actually in the process of planning my celebration of "the break up". For real. Even though I sometimes miss "my friend" Philip...I'm not missing "my boyfriend" Philip. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not the right one for me. It is very freeing to be able to say that. It's always hard to take those first few breaths after a break up, but it's so nice to be able to breathe easier knowing that you're doing what you need to do for YOU. Right now I'm living my life for me and no one else. Yes, I'd like to have a man in my life again, but I'm not putting my life on hold until that happens.
I'm still taking baby steps toward going to grad school, and in the end if I decide to NOT go...then that will be a decision that I make because that's what I want. I know it's very cliche to say that turning 30 changes you...but it really does. No longer am I living my life for others. Now I know what I want AND I've developed enough self-respect and confidence to say that I am NOT going to settle for anything less than I deserve. Life is definitely too short to live that way!
I've watched myself transform into a strong, independent, and successful woman...which I will admit, sometimes even I don't recognize the girl in the mirror...but I know it's me. And maybe I am intimidating to some, but I won't apologize for who I am. For the most part, I like the person I am (with the exception of my growing JLo booty - THAT I could live without!) and I know there is someone out there who will like that person too (JLo booty and all).
With every passing year I get stronger and 2007 was no exception. I sometimes wonder if I've become TOO independent...but I think if I can learn to trust someone again and let them inside...the maybe, just maybe 2008 could be a great year!
Happy New Year! |
|
|
