Yesterday for Christmas I went to my step-brother's which is about an hour and a half from where I live.  I made the mistake of riding down with my parents.  My step-father is almost 70...and he drives like it!!  It was almost painful to ride with them.  I was really tempted to offer to drive, but I just kept my mouth closed.  It was Christmas after all.

 

Christmas is the one time a year that EVERYONE gets together.  It was fun, but is always kind of awkward.  It's hard to explain.  I've known all of them since I was about 7 years old and I consider them to be my "family" but it seems as I've gotten older, the less likely it seems that they consider ME to be family.  I always feel like kind of an outsider and like I don't really belong.  My biological brother says he doesn't know why I still go.  He stayed in NY and hasn't been up here for a Christmas gathering in so many years that I've forgotten when he was last at one.  I think he likes it that way.

 

I have six "siblings" total.  My biological brother, one step-brother, and four step-sisters.  All except my bio bro are married, and of those, only one doesn't have children...so, needless to say, there are quite a few people.  This is why last year we decided to draw names and only buy for one person instead of feeling like we needed to buy for everyone.  Of course, this doesn't apply to my parents who still buy for everyone since they are the "parents" or "grandparents" (actually, they are also "great-grandparents" to my neices almost 2 year old daughter).  I had to buy for one of my step-sisters and for some crazy reason I felt like I really had to get something great.  You know, in my never ending quest to be accepted by the family and be "liked".  I got her a gift certificate for a massage and a parafin wax treatment for her hands.  She seemed really psyched for it, so I guess I was psyched...like I actually did something right.  In continuation of my neverending quest to be liked, I also made two different kinds of cookies and two different kinds of bread to give to "the sibs".  I've been really busy all week...baking my "please-like-me" bribes.  Sad isn't it?

 

The only thing I really asked for were flannel sheets...which I got...but they seriously do NOT match my bed.  I kinda thought my mom would have figured that out...but, oh wait, it was Santa who actually gave them to me.  Yes, I'm 31 years old and I still got presents from "Santa."  My brother completely surprised me and sent me four wine glasses from Tiffany & Co.  I'm almost afraid to use them!  Of course, it looks like I'll be alone for New Years...so maybe I can toast in 2008 by myself in style!  Actually, I'll probably be in bed by 10pm...I'm such a loser!

 

In other news...Philip called me last night to say Merry Christmas and we talked for a bit.  He told me that his girlfriend's parents came over to his parent's house for Christmas.  In all of the 5 years that he and I were together, our parents never met.  He's been with her for 10 months and here their families were meeting.  I'll admit that for a couple of minutes I was a bit hurt by this...but only for a couple of minutes.  I have to say that I'm really proud of myself that I was able to brush this off as quickly as I did.  I said something to the effect of how it must be a big deal since their families were spending the holiday together and how our parents had never met.  He said that I had never asked.  I told him that's because I figured he's freak out because that was too much of a commitment, he basically said, "Well, you're probably right." and said that he was freaking out about her parents being there.  I told him that someday he'd figure it all out, but he's not so sure.  Oh well, not my problem anymore!  Oh, and he's essentially homeless and jobless at this time.  Also not my problem.  I think he's seriously going through some early mid-life crisis or something.  SO glad it's not my problem!

 

Hope everyone had a drama-free Christmas!

Well, there has been some progress on the crush.  It seems that he IS single (there was some question on that) and he IS interested.  I know I haven't given any details...but it always seems that the more people I tell about ANYTHING exciting going on in my life, the more it's apt to crash and burn and leave me looking like an ass.  I am not interested in looking like an ass at this juncture.  So, just know that I'm now planning step 2 in my quest...I kinda feel like I'm 14 again when it comes to dating.  I'm so out of practice!  Well, wish me luck.

Wow!  It's been a crazy long time since I've updated.  Unfortunately I don't have a ton of great things to write about...but then again, do I ever? 

 

 

I've given up on the whole online dating thing.  It just hasn't panned out...and it was getting worse.  I decided it wasn't worth my money, so I didn't renew my subscription to Match.  I still get emails from the site of my "matches" but there has been absolutely NOTHING that has caught my eye.  I haven't necessarily given up on the dating scene, but I'm just taking it one day at a time and am sticking to the philosophy of "it will happen when it happens."

 

The funny thing is that I think my parents must think that I simply MUST be so depressed because I don't have a boyfriend that I'm about seconds away from slashing my wrists.  It's rather hillarious.  Everytime I talk to my step-father the conversation goes a little somethin' like this:

 

"So is there anything you want to talk about?"

 

"No."

 

"Are you SURE?  There's nothing bothering you?  You're doing okay."

 

"Yup."

 

This has happened more than once.  The ironic part is that last year at this time I had a boyfriend and I was not in the Christmas spirit at all.  This year I'm single and I put my Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving and have totally decorated my place for Christmas.  I'm so looking forward to it.  Coincidence?  I think not.

 

 

Speaking of the boyfriend I had last year...today is his birthday.  I was debating calling him and wishing him a Happy Birthday since we ARE friends after all.  I haven't called him in ages.  I don't want to get him in trouble with "the woman", so I don't call.  The interesting thing is that I don't have the desire to call him which is fabulous if you ask me.  I do know that they are back in Vermont, but I haven't heard from him.  I took a chance and called him to say happy birthday...but all the while I was saying "Please don't answer, please don't answer."  He didn't.  I left a message.  That was good enough for me.

 

 

I can't remember if I wrote about taking a chemistry class this semister or not...but I did.  Take the class that is.  It's actually wrapping up this week.  As of right now I have an A.  It's all comes down to the final exam now.  If you recall, I needed to take four classes before I can apply to grad school.  After this final exam, I'll have only one class left.  Unfortunately I don't think I'm going to be able to take it next semister.  My plan as of right now is to devote next semister to studying for and taking the GRE.  Then next fall taking my final class.  I hope that after all of this I actually DO get accepted to grad school.

 

 

I have a new crush.  That's all I'm going to say for now.  I don't want to jinx anything before it starts.  I'm planning my strategy.  I'll keep ya'll posted if anything develops.  Wish me luck!

 

That's all for now.  Hopefully I'll have something exciting to say next time!